By my last post I can see that time has gone by a lot faster than I anticipated. If it hasn't been work it's been school work slowly eating at my ability to get to beatings.
My muscles are so flaccid it makes me nervous to go because that's when the injuries seem like they occur (this is a lie - I find they occur when I'm feeling at my best and things get out of hand). Tonight the worst was when I was thrown the newer folks let go my hand and I'd get dropped unceremoniously on the mats. Not cool on the backside. I got partnered with Nilon at one point and missed the block which led me to a punch in the ear - ouch! Later I unintentionally popped him in the jaw -oops. I mean, I felt bad and all, but I'm celebrating now.
I can't believe I let him get to me the way he does - and I know I've ranted about this guy in the past, but he's like a bad penny always showing up. I hate that I have to mentally prepare myself to deal with him. As we put the mats away tonight he keep poking and elbowing me. I had finally had to stop and ask him, "are you okay?" Thinking that might shake him into some semblance of propriety. No go. He said, "I'm so glad your back, you're so fun to pick on."
WTF! How I am the guy? What in my nature or personality makes this guy gravitate to me and spoil my evening? In my heart of hearts I realize that I've got to make a boundary with this guy, but I'm not sure what it is. Do I just say, "you're a massive dick" and hope he gets the point? Or just stop playing at his grab-assery? I think that's the best approach.
What happens in the end is that I'm agitated and my experience is colored by him.
Teacher is off to foreign lands for a month so I can safety get caught up on fitness and school work for awhile and let my petty emotional rants subside.
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9 comments:
Dang Potatoe I'm in a similar situation with a major dickwad at work. He's weaseled his way into the good graces of someone who has a lot of stroke with our Dean. So despite four of the best people complaining it goes nowhere. Not only is he a dick but he's not doing half his job. It's at the point where my only recourse is to look for another job and avoid the douche. You cannot do this. I've also confronted him which only created a grudge. If the authority cannot or will not deal with a bully there's not much you can do.
Maybe talk to your instructor?
I'm thinking I'm going to have to approach Teacher and talk about it. I've been avoiding doing this for a long time based on the assumption that he'd change if he stayed long enough. I can see that isn't happening.
Teacher's only apparent course of action is to withhold belt testing and telling him to focus on the basics and be better in class. This guy has never got that point.
But I'll talk to teacher when he gets back. I was going to before he left, but time ran out.
You can't look for another dojo like BSM is doing with his job. But the confrontation issue ... maybe that's an idea for you? Just tell him exactly how particular things he does irritates you - when it occurs. Switch off diplomacy and tell it to him as it is. Colin
Colin, Ironically, I'm not very confrontational, but I get the feeling if I don't learn this guy would never know he was pissing me off. When classes pick up again I'll see if I can work myself up to it. I'm going to talk to Teacher first to see if that alleviates some of the frustration. I'm hoping that he at least senses it. With that in mind I might be able to deal with Nilon a bit better.
You don't have to be confrontational to communicate negative information. Just say it as it is. If you are focused on improving the situation then I am sure you will consider some middle ground which may let the guy understand what behaviour is tolerated. Put it this way, you both exchange blows as a matter of course. This means there is some maturity and understanding present that can be used to help resolve whatever conflicts may arise. :-) Good luck!
Colin
I'm with colin.
If you don't say it, don't expect your sensei to see it, they're busy teaching already.
You'll have to say it..
As in : quit it.
plain, simple, effective.
How did it go?
We haven't reconvened yet. Teacher is still out until April 7th. So I'm still in the pondering state.
I have actually told him to stop it in the past, but he obviously doesn't seem to think it's serious or he's too focused on his "fun" to take me seriously.
I'll talk to Teacher when he gets back and try to figure it out.
Good idea
so.. any home training?
I make sure I'm keeping my flexibility as much as possible, but I don't have much time to work on anything but Kata/hyung. The first day back is going to be brutal. April 9th!
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