Getting My Teach On

I've long been frustrated by my some of my classmates inconsistent behavior, in particular Beard.  When he comes from Judo directly to our class I would qualify his attitude as "frisky".  I mean that he comes across as intentionally cruel, but over the years I've realized he's just pumped.  This is validated by his regular days where he is caring, conscientious, and an excellent partner in the learning process.  Honestly there are these moments when he teaches me something very specific and granular and the simpatico that results feels tangible.

That being said, when I'm looking for excuses not to go to class he usually appears in my mind.  I have to psych myself up to deal with him which makes me tense and reduces the pleasure of learning and exercising.  

For whatever reason, that concern or fear left me last night a few hours before class.  I realized my attitude towards him and my desire to skip class on occasion was incredibly small in the greater scheme of things and, boom, it just evaporated.  I assume it'll be back when I have the desire to get away from class, but if I can keep the 3 mile high attitude maybe it'll be better over all.  

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As I mentioned in my last post I finally feeling like I have my black belt after almost two years of wearing it.  Talk about growing into it.  When I'm participating as a student that's when I feel like I've least earned it.  I'm by no means the person that anyone would look at and go, "wow, he's definitely black belt quality".  However, when I'm teaching something I'm feeling way more comfortable with the content and my abilities.  

To wit:
Trucker and Storm were practicing spinning back kicks and I noticed he was having some problems (kicking before spotting...).  We got into a discussion about kicking directly from the floor versus chambering the leg.  

Trucker says to me, "Won't I lose speed if I stop kicking from the floor?"

To which I replied, "you can have speed, but you won't have accuracy.  You can shoot a gun all day as fast as you can, but if you're not on target it doesn't mean crap."

I thought that was so badass!

Testing The Storm

There's a special type of anxiety I get from watching a test.  It's frisson of adrenaline that's born of fear, excitement and something I can't put a finger on, but I'm pretty sure it's that knowledge that you are going to come of it being something different.  

For whatever reason Storm's test meant a lot to me.  I ended up being on the judging committee and not really doing much other than catching his spinning back kicks and then taking lumps as the last fighter in his sparring.  

Still, I got to be there and participate and that somehow made me feel a little bit more like a blackbelt.  I realized that it has been two years since my test and I'm often shy about the fact. This kind of thing allows me to measure my success and comfort with my achievement.

During the testing we found out that Storm has two TKD black belts!  Outstanding.  He's also on schedule to test for his 2nd degree at one of those schools, but that's dependent on his ability to fly over to the big city and get some quality time in.  

The test reminded me of my Black belt test in that the format was pretty similar and Teacher G actually had to stop for moment to help Storm get his breath back.  I felt that deeply when I saw him do that for Storm.  I was embarrassed when it happened to me and Storm is in absolutely fantastic shape.  So it was somewhat validating.  He is now a Brown belt in our school.

As a result I went to Teacher's work and picked up my diploma and got a frame to hang it up. It's time to believe in myself.