I was having this internal conversation with myself yesterday.
“I completely exhausted from work and poor sleep for the past couple of nights. I’ve got a second job that’s sucking the life out of me. I should probably skip beatings tonight.”
“The whole point of beatings is that it’s something you do no matter how you’re feeling or what state you’re in. So you should go – it’s not just for your physical fitness.”
“I know I’m in a foul mood though. It makes for a tough night.”
“Right. Whatever. You’re sounding pretty whiney now. You’ve got to go early and work with the kids to show proper spirit and also get ready for next week’s observations.”
So I went. I’m my own worst and best litigator.
As usual the kids class blasted by at high speed. I only started the class off and Teacher didn’t have any notes after words so that was nice. The rest of the time I walked around doing corrections and holding a pad for the kids to kick. Another Blackbelt was helping out since his little girl is in the class. I’d love to see him in the adult class, but his schedule won’t permit it.
Teacher started the adult class at level 11. To improve our legs and kicking he had us do lunge kicks. We haven’t done these in over five years. Basically you’re in seiza (a side note – when I looked up the spelling, one of the suggestions was seizure!), you come up on one leg and then go into a front snap kick. I wasn’t even sure my knees could handle that, but there was no particular evidence showing itself that I couldn’t so I soldiered on. We commenced doing this up and down the floor and no amount of breathing would alleviate the fact that I felt like I was walking up Kilimanjaro.
I was doing the hands on knees pose after that and realized my gluteal muscles were locking up. Apparently sitting all day at a desk job does exactly nothing for you in terms of fitness.
To add insult to injury, the bulk of the rest of the night was balance exercises. The bulk of that was being able to maintain balance on one leg, crouch down low, and defend against attacks. About 10 minutes I was unable to crouch at all and my ankles could barely support my weight.
The final blow was the attack line. The class was split into two groups. One person, in the one leg position, is attacked and has to remain in that position while either passing the attacker or locking them. I was the first to defend. Since I was totally shaking with fatigue even the smallest bump would knock me over. After five folks attacking I rotated out and became and attacker.
Teacher started that rotation and, of course, made it painful. He blocked my kick hooked it and moved it up pass my ability to stretch. I couldn’t swivel my hips properly and end up having to take a back fall. It’s not that I can’t take the back fall, but the pain created in making me do it is almost unendurable. After I got up I had to limp for a few minutes before I could put weight on my leg. In another rotation Beard chopped me on the neck (he loves to do this) while he had my leg. Yet another time he locked my elbow out painfully and I had to take a front fall to escape the lock. Teacher makes the comment to me, “well, it was your fault.” I had to hide a look of surprise. At this point I’m the only person taking falls during a simple exercise. Conclusion = schlemiel. The perpetual bungler. Most certainly something I don’t want to be. Of course gritting my teeth in pain management and frustration really makes for a smooth flow (read ironically).
I got home completely warn out with not a lot of humor and feeling very frustrated about class. My wife is not sympathetic to this sort of thing, but I vented for a few minutes even while I realized that my exhaustion was exacerbating the situation. Thankfully, she just echoed a bit of my comments to make me feel heard and I was better. We watched a bit of comedy on TV and that helped as well.
Now that I’m typing this out the next day I can feel a lot of that frustration surging to the surface. I keep telling myself that I’m not going to be taken advantage of by Beard, but that’s extremely difficult when you have to give yourself to a person during exercises. A constant vigilance is required I suppose. And I guess I need to make sure I take a quick retaliation to let him know that’s unacceptable. I give him way too much lee-way because he’s a black belt in Judo. He’s still a green and my junior in TSD, but it’s counter my personality to be a dick in any case.