I think I may have mentioned that Teacher and I talked briefly about what’s next in my development. After class last night we met for an hour and half on what’s expected of me for my Black Belt.
I don’t think I can put everything into a nutshell, but it felt like a particularly intensive therapy session. I came in thinking that we’d be talking about physical requirements and how to figure that out based on my age, but Teacher wants to focus on these things:
- be assertive (without being a dick)
- teach portions of the class in a more formal manner
- be more situationally aware
I left thinking I rather have a hard physical test (which he assured me I would) than the above. Situational awareness can be worked on all the time, but the other things are going to require to me face aspects of myself that are a struggle. By my very nature I’m easy going to a fault and avoid all conflict. However I’ll do this to the nth degree; so much so that it creates conflict in other areas.
Unfortunately there isn’t a syllabus that outlines how do this, but when I started my campaign to stop apologizing all the time it was a very small component. Next stop – stop with all the self depreciation, and then figure out how to accept that I know some stuff.
I know that in class I have asked the students if they want to do something instead of telling them. How’s does one retool one aspect of their personality without changing who they are? I don’t think I can do a major change, but Teacher says that I will do this without any problem. Interesting times ahead.
Two new kids in class. Several out on injury (not from class). So a good time that went by quickly.